In 1985, the ManKind Project embarked on a mission to unite men under a banner of kindness and compassion. Today, the nonprofit has inspired and trained over 68,000 men to become the best possible version of themselves. The ManKind Project uses online training, in-person programs, and group work to nurture a global community of men who have the strength of character to show love, support healthy relationships, and make the world a kinder place.
THE NEW MASCULINITY CONFERENCE 2019, LONDON
This conference is dedicated to men who want to embody their masculinity with responsibility and positive intent.
The panel discussion and interactive workshops will focus on NEW MASCULINITY: How to embrace both our inner sensitivity and aliveness, and also our power and leadership in the world.
Big boys don't cry. Suck it up. Shut up and rub some dirt on it. Stop crying before I give you something to cry about. These are just a few of the phrases that contribute to a disease in our society, and more specifically, in our men. It's a disease that has come to be known as "toxic masculinity." It's one I suffered a chronic case of, so much so that I spent 24 years of a life sentence in prison for kidnapping, robbery, and attempted murder
For many years, MKP was cautious about what we shared. Were we ready for the world? Was the world ready for us? I think there is shame in there, tied to the old story of masculinity. Men don’t share what feels vulnerable … What if everyone knew that I broke down? That I’m afraid? That I long for love and long to feel powerful? That I need support?
The NWTA was a wake-up call. Vision and mission didn’t mean anything to me before the weekend but I’m still working with the vision and mission that I took away with me. My mission is about creating a heart world for children where they can flourish and grow, which led to me to become a parenting coach and running parenting workshops which I still do
One of the places that MKP has allowed me to step into – is leadership, which was another foreign place to me before. This kind of leadership means stepping into the kind of life that I have envisioned for myself – one of compassion, meeting the neighbours, connection as well as stepping up to the plate around leadership in terms of standing up for what I believe in.
My father gave me less than nothing as a role model, and now manhood makes sense to me in my body. I had ‘abuser beliefs’ because that’s what I’d taken in during my childhood. It was in my core. MKP was able to change that. I imbibed from men who had courage, generosity, compassion and wisdom, and that was such a privilege. I learnt integrity and accountability. I’m able to express how I feel. I have so much more clarity. My relationships are much better.
On the NWTA weekend it became clear I had to decide whether to stay closed up and wary, or to dive in, be more transparent and ‘do my work’. At one point in the training I decided to really go for it and as a result, something inside me genuinely opened up. I experienced a deeper connection with others, in some ways for the first time. I also started realising that vulnerability is strength, which I hadn’t realised before. I have since become increasingly aware of my potential as a man and how to step into that potential.
For me, my life is like a pressure cooker, it keeps growing in pressure so my i-group is a place where I can express all that energy whether it is grief, pain or laughter. It is a precious safe space where we are supported and challenged. It has a huge impact on my life. My wife says she can always tell when I need to go! I’d trust these men with my life, soul and spirit, that’s how important it is.
I think I closed down on the grief when my first wife died . It was a way of surviving for me. The weekend was an opportunity to open up the long black bag that Robert Bly talks about in Iron John, there was a choice to make, either live half a life or go for the full one. I’d locked a lot away. It was as if I had no feelings. So I made a decision to let go into my feelings. It opened up a new portal into life for me.
