What can I possibly gain that I don't already have?

The e-mail said an article of around 1000 words was wanted from a man who could write with passion about his recent completion of the NWTA and the benefits he'd gained. I immediately responded saying I would attempt to get something down in the next few days. The prompt response stated the deadline was Monday mid-day - it was now Friday. A full weekend approached. I replied "I’d do my best". Finding myself roused from a deep sleep at 4 am on Tuesday morning, I recall my commitment to send an article to a man I don't know, who compiles a publication I have never read. Now wide awake, I realize what day it is and that I have failed to deliver on a commitment to a man. That is NOT "my best"!

Now, at this point I could have snuggled down making excuses to keep me in my comfort, explaining the difficulty to find the time. I was so busy in the garden all Saturday, and that night was spent around a Halloween bonfire in warm connection with the men in my life. I was sharing deep inner truth and vulnerability, helping each to realize their unique gifts and our imperative to share them with the world. Feeling heard in a way I've never known from these men, I was able to take time to really listen.

And after that, I was sitting on the kitchen floor looking into the eyes of a 20 year old woman, for the first time really hearing her pain. She shared with me her deep hatred of men for the abuse and disrespect shown to her all her life, in the home, at school and out in the wider world. I have always found it difficult to relate to this woman since we first met, when she was 12 years old.

She has always been very defensive, aggressive and masculine. She revealed how she is intoxicated by the smell of men and deeply desires connection and union, but it will have to be with a man who has green or blue energy emanating from him - colours that she associates with love and heating. Most men are red, she explained, dangerous, she despises them. Finally, she told me that she had only shared these truths with 2 people: her best girl friend and now me.

Now other reasons for not making the deadline flood in. Very jet tagged from a long haul flight and having only 4 hours' sleep in 24 hour periods over the previous 6 days, I found myself sleeping right through Sunday, waking up at I0pm, and going back to bed a few hours later.

I was up at 7am to clean and prepare for one of my best friends and his new girlfriend to arrive later that day. It was important to me to prepare a beautiful space for them: ironed sheets, hoovered carpets, tidy living room and clean kitchen - not to impress, but because I value this man in my life for the friendship, humour, support and guidance we share and so I wish to treat him with the respect he deserves.

Then I was off to see a new tenant in an apartment I rent out. He'd written to say there were some minor repairs that needed attending to. I'd arranged the earliest time available to attend to his problems. Not because I worry about the rent or losing face, but because I wish to honour this man I've never met, wanting him to be comfortable in his new home. After a firm handshake and eye contact, I apologized he'd encountered any problems at all: despite the property becoming vacant while I was away, there was no excuse. Reassuring him that his happiness was my main priority, I swiftly carried out the repairs and arranged a plumber to replace a leaking tap by next week.

On the way home I popped in to see a friend who was also on the NWTA with me. We were both busy and we respected each other's time constraints, keeping our conversation focused; he lent me some equipment I had been considering buying and I gave him a contact around some work for him.

My partner and I shared a wonderful evening with my friend and his new girlfriend and left them to continue their night undisturbed with candles and romance in the hot tub.

Now where in all that could I have found the time to write a thousand words?! Are these valid excuses for not honouring a commitment? No, these are descriptions of some of the many changes that have happened in my life since I attended the New Warrior Training. There is no excuse for letting another man down, so I complete this piece at 6.30 am with deep apology and hope that the deadline contains flexibility.

Whispers of the ManKind Project were first heard when I encountered various men who were focused, loving and very present with strong eye contact. Commenting that I found it refreshing to meet a "man" as apposed to a "boy in a man's body", I was informed that these men had attended the training.

Just before I set off to attend the same training last June I spouted to my partner “Why am I, of all people, doing this?! What can I possibly gain that I don't already have?!" Half way through the weekend I thought I'd wasted my money and would only stay to support my friend. A day later I was shocked to see a man I have never known looking back out at me from my bathroom mirror.

For the first time I really liked what I saw. A 41 year old man looked back at me who was confident, loving and free to dance with life. My partner said I smelt different, my muscle tone was different, my voice deeper, my energy contained, and my focus intense. Although these qualities are not as pronounced now, they remain with me, and the changes I have found in my life in the months since the training have been profound.

I have recommended dozens of men to attend the training and am looking forward to future work with MKP. This organisation is changing men, and those men in turn are changing our world for the better.