How did I ever decide to do the Weekend? Two close friends of mine whose opinion I value advised me that this would be a great experience and that I was exactly the right profile to fit the Adventure (New Warrior Training Adventure). Valuing both of their advice, I signed up, not knowing what I was getting myself into. Fortunately I decided to join three others going up North by car, as it allowed us to connect during the trip, to talk and to bring out our rich experiences of life and why we wanted to do the Adventure. That sharing established a good, friendly connection, which was very helpful during the entire weekend, as it felt like we were already closer brothers before getting there and that made in easier during difficult moments in the Comb – to stay there, anyway!
Arriving there late in the afternoon, it felt quite spooky, as we suddenly got to a place where we didn’t know what was going to happen…. kind of anticipating what was going to happen without knowing, felt weird. I felt very angry at myself for having signed up and just decided to keep a low profile – "survival mode". I felt disempowered…
The tension eased off when we got started. The rest of the evening was spent with meeting other brothers, learning what the Adventure means and going into some exercises that changed our minds by creating trust and connection. The more the weekend unfolded, the more new connections were created through the exercises and events we experienced.
Finding My Mission In Life
What a great way to give yourself sense and meaning in your life by formulating a mission statement that helps you actually start walking into that direction in your daily life. TheMissionstatement I found for myself was: "To dance enthusiastically every day through my life and to encourage others to come and dance with me!"
Being where so many other hundreds of men had been before me, working on their issues of rejection, denial, abandonment, loss – you name it, it was there -- felt frightening at first, but seeing the happy faces after the experiences made it encouraging.
I would never have thought I'd find the courage to work on my issue of abandonment in such a deep way. Very skilled and emotionally intelligent people were leading the work that was going to liberate me into a new, encouraged and happy being, "free to pick up my bed and walk" as a free man. I had connected before with the leader of the weekend Ed, and was so happy when he came up to guide me through the process with kindness and care. Nobody else could have done it any better for me because of the trusting relationship we'd established before. Ed carefully lead me through a process of regaining my trust in men and people in general, made me do things I never would have imagined I would dare to do - and that sure felt like a new birth for me.
Going to the MKP Adventure Weekend was linked to my desire to get a real male initiation, something that never happened in my life, yet needed to happen for me to step into manhood in a conscious and responsible way.
I now find myself taking my promises and commitments to myself and others much more seriously, and that feels very manlike.
I've taken home:
1 A feeling of deep connectedness with like-minded men who want to change the world for the better, as well as a feeling that I am not alone with my issues: now I know there are men, who have their own issues, but who are willing to look at mine and to help me deal with them.
2 A feeling that the follow-up to this weekend was going to be great, as it turned out to be: continuing the training in other workshops offered regularly aroundLondonas soon as I feel ready to tackle the next step.
3 The possibility of joining an iGroup for a weekly meeting, where I can stand among men, share ritual, cleansing, share how I feel, deal with issues that are on-going or have come up in the week and need to be transformed as they block me from living freely and happily (I have done this in Putney and am quite happy about it).
4 Connecting with my brothers from the weekend as a reminder of what we have been experiencing together and also as a commitment to living a life where I trust myself and trust others to keep my/their word and live up to my/their commitments.
5 A new network of likeminded people that is enriching my life and that stretches far beyond the 80 brothers I met during the Adventure weekend, as the network stretches around the world into many countries.
I have come to heal myself and to find new warriors that would accompany me in this healing process. It only works when you get up and do it – and I know this and yet have to relearn this over and over again. Knowing that there are so many more opportunities to take that as far as I possibly can and am willing to, is a great feeling – like an open plain in front of me, ready to be walked into.