Look Deeper, Daniel Dzikowski

Daniel Dzikowski, 42, Ealing, runs an IT Business

How did you get introduced to MKP?

I’d already been doing some inner work through meditation and Emotional Release Therapy and I heard that MKP were doing this work but specifically with men. That appealed to me because it was another stepping stone on my path. I’d heard about the The Adventure weekend (NWTA) and I had a friend who took part but he didn’t tell me what happened, that part is protected so that each new man can have an individual experience.

What sort of life stage were you at?

I was divorced two years ago so I had a lot of emotional stuff coming up at that time. I had support through mediation and release work so I was okay, but I realized that I had stuff that came up around men, and especially groups of men which came from bullying when I was a child. I had these insecurities that I thought it would be good to face and let go of.

How was the Adventure for you?

It’s great because it’s set up in such a way that you can be as honest as possible in a safe way. It’s a great place to express vulnerability. I was moved by other men being vulnerable and honest. I liked working on my issues with other men, it felt good and I felt supported. It really is a great place to explore who you are as a man. You very much get out what you put in. I also feel as though I became more open and confident afterwards.

Did you have any major revelations?

Not so much, it was more for me about being with men and trusting them. I felt a much stronger connection with men in general afterwards. I allowed myself to feel my fears around men and move through them. I also had a better understanding about my sexuality after the Adventure. Somehow I had felt inadequate beforehand and I felt afraid of my sexuality. 

And what about your perspective on being a man?

I felt as though I wasn’t masculine enough in those stereotypical ways around my body, sports etc. What I discovered with MKP is that most men feel that way. There is a construct of masculinity in the media and culturally, and most men don’t feel it represents them. Seeing how many different versions of masculinity there are, helped me accept my version.

So you were able to re-define yourself as a man?

Yes, in some ways. I was surprised how open and vulnerable we could all be and that was so great. Also masculinity is often equated with aggression and MKP is all about expressing this anger in a different way. In a more assertive and balanced way.

What changed after the weekend?

I did some work around my relationship with my mum. So I was able to let go of some feelings around her, and afterwards I felt myself being more drawn towards her. And actually it was the support of the igroup afterwards that allowed me to process those corresponding emotions and therefore release me into a good relationship with her.

And you mentioned grief?

Yes, the weekly igroup – men who have done the Adventure and meet weekly to share  their deeper feelings and also challenge each other emotionally, for instance, to really show up – allowed me to express a lot of suppressed grief which was great. Suppressed grief causes disconnection and releasing it ultimately is the way to love. And also truly being in one’s power as a man.